David R asked:
I am a father and my son turned 18 last june and he is trying to go to russia with his friends. It is extremely dangerous in Moscow (where he is going) and I dont want him to go. Is there any possible way I can make him stop legally or any other way. I hid his passport but he is trying to make a new one. Any suggestions?
Nope. He can do what he wants. Hope he gets back alive.
if he lives at home..yes..otherwise no…
No, he is legal now.
Not under your control.
legally he is an adult. You are still a parent and can offer your words of wisdom. If you have proved yourself to be wise in the past, your adult son will listen. If you have proved that you know nothing, he will not. BTW, what you did with the passport is a criminal act.
Your son is of legal age, and I’m assuming mentally competent, there is nothing you can do legally to prohibit him from going.
you can take him to court and ask the judge to put him under your control until age whatever but i doubt the judge will say yes. You might as well apologize give him his passport and talk calmly to him of why you don’t want him to go. if he still wants to go help him find hotels or something to make his trip as safe as possible
if it was my son, i’d be counseling him on extra warm underwear for the trip. this is his flight from the nest, don’t cripple him before he jumps. this is one of the most important father-son issues there is, support him. you will make him stronger and the bond between you stronger.
I’m sorry but no. He’s of age.
Do you know the other friends he is going with?
Maybe you can talk to them and see if they know how dangerous things are there. Chances are they dont.
They probably have some idea of russian brides or some other such nonsense.
I applaude you for making it as hard as possible for him to go.
DO NOT give him his passport back.
This is not should I go to a bar, this is a life or death situation as you see it so the ‘let him make his own mistakes’ answers are really silly.
18 or not, you are still his parent.
As such it is your job to prevent him from making THIS kind of bad decision. Much like you would not allow him to knowingly date a woman with AIDS or walk in downtown inner cities, you want to prevent him from possibly getting killed.
IT will take about 4 weeks for his passport to arrive.
By then your mail should be forwarded to the post office box.
Check the post office box daily and place the mail in the mailbox after you take it from the post office. (remove the yellow stickers) and let him get the mail.
When the passport comes put it with the old one and your problem is solved. Give it to him shortly after the departure date.
In the meantime he is going to tell you that the trip is off
dont believe him until after the date has passed.
At 18 he is a legal adult and makes his own decisions..whether or not you want him to go..he will anyway..you may indeed have your concerns and feelings..you may have greater wisdom than him right now..but he will go..he will learn for himself
He is legally an adult and can make his own decisions.
Unless by some deceptive way you can make him commit a crime that would sentence him to jail and prevent his departure, the only thing you could do is offer words of wisdom.
What’s he going for anyway?
Sorry, but no, there is no way to stop him.
Only thing would be if you are controlling the money he would be using in some way.
I have a friend who lives in Moscow. she doesn’t mention anything about it being the least bit dangerous. she even invited me over for a stay.
btw, it’s HIS passport, and HIS property. parent or not, that is a criminal act.
for Gods sake let your little bunny boy grow up and be a man.
Moscow is dangerous? really, any more so than any major US city? I find parts of Los Angeles far more dangerous and I just got back from Moscow. Saw zero crime, but it was expensive.
Act like a father to a man, give him his passport back (you are a thief). Your boy will grow up. Why don’t you start acively helping him plan his trip to make it safer, like buying a money belt, get calling cards that work from Moscow etc.
Geez louiseee…
DO NOT LISTEN TO LISA.
What she is advocating is a federal offense – stealing mail – especially an official US document – will get you thrown in jail for a long time.
He is an adult and can go anywhere he wants. Moscow is no more dangerous than any other place – my friend and I (both girls) just got back about 1 month ago – as long as you practice normal security precautions (cabs after dark, dont’ go home with strangers, decent hotel or hostel with security) it is perfectly fine. The people are very nice and pleasant and many speak English.
I have travelled all over the world from the time I was 18 – sometimes alone and sometimes with friends – and have very rarely had little problems, never giant ones.
Just talk to him about being careful, give him the Embassy info, get an itinerary from him for your own piece of mind and make sure he has travellor’s medical insurance.
He will be fine – he is going to have a fantastic time; and a trip/experience to remember – you don’t want it marred with the memory of his father being irrationally afraid.
Going to Moscow is not much more dangerous than going to New York. I lived in Moscow when I was 12 (in 1990s) and Moscow’s crime rate actually fallen since that time. Also, offenses against foreign tourists from US/Canada/EU are fairly rare. He might get his wallet stolen (like in any big city) but that is about it.